Content warning: details of family violence.
Rosie* was just six years old when she watched her father assault her mother so violently, she needed an ambulance to take her to hospital.
While her mother recovered, Rosie was put into foster care. In those long days and nights, Rosie’s anxiety grew and grew. She hoped her mother was safe and hated being away from her.
When Rosie and her mother were reunited, Rosie was a different child. She was anxious, unable to sleep, and terrified of being separated from the mother she loved so much. She started refusing to go to school.
She was overwhelmed by the violence she had seen and the fear she felt. And over time, her behaviour regressed.
Jacki, our Head of Children & Families at the Children Ahead program, was one of the first people to hear about Rosie’s challenges.
“She was six years old but using a dummy as a form of self-soothing, and still drinking from a milk bottle,” she said. “This kind of regressive behaviour showed her emotional age as much younger than her true age.”
The anxiety and fear followed her every day. Even at school, Rosie withdrew into a private world of anxiety because she was afraid of her mum being taken from her again.
It was obvious to those around her that Rosie needed professional, expert support. Because if she didn’t get it, the trauma and anxiety she was experiencing could impact her entire life.
Rosie was referred to the Children Ahead program at a critical time by her school.
Experiencing extreme violence at childhood can impact children’s cognition, brain development, physical, mental and emotional health, and of course, their relationships.
By slowly building trust and building a relationship with Rosie, we were able to help Rosie come out of her shell. And we began to discover how her trauma was manifesting, and most importantly, how to help.
We found out that Rosie was afraid of the dark, because that was when most of the violence occurred. And she was constantly afraid of being separated from her mother again.
“For Rosie, it was the whole idea of being safe enough to leave mum and spend the day at school,” Jacki explained.
Rosie and her Children Ahead Practitioner played with Jenga blocks to help open up conversations. They would play a game.
“You pull out a Jenga block, but there's a question to answer. It’s play, but it’s a child’s form of language, and it’s how we build a relationship,” Jacki explained.
Helping a child takes time and resources. We like to say that we work at the speed of trust. This is why our Children Ahead Program is a 12-month system of recovery. There is no quick fix to childhood trauma.
By working with Rosie's teachers, we’ve been able to help Rosie to reduce her anxiety at school.
Through empowering and supporting the people around Rosie with the tools they need to help her, Rosie can stay focused on learning – and just being a child again.
And by slowly, but surely getting to know Rosie, we were able to find a powerful, unique way to help her overcome her fear of separation from her mother.
Rosie and her mother have made each other a special bracelet. It’s what we call a transitional object, and when Rosie goes to school, they each put their bracelet on.
The bracelets mean Rosie always has the feeling of closeness that ‘mum is here with me and is thinking of me.”
After experiencing so much pain, and living with anxiety being separated from her mother, the most important step has been made – Rosie looks forward to going to school again.
With your help, the next child like Rosie can heal from the trauma of extreme violence, through the intensive support of the Children Ahead program.
We’re not funded by the government. We don’t have any other means of covering our costs, outside of gifts from kind, caring and compassionate people like you.
Please take this chance to change a child’s life, after years of trauma have torn it apart.
Donate your tax-deductible gift by 30 June.
*This story is a true account, but the name and images have been changed to protect Rosie’s safety and privacy.
